It seems that the latest hot topic is class reunions. Do you attend? Do you skip them? Do you even care? Many of us seem to have the attitude that since we can keep in touch with people via Facebook, Twitter, or the ever passe e-mail, why bother with a stale old tradition like a class reunion? “I know who my friends were and I really don’t care about the other people who walked across that stage with of me at graduation” seems to be the prevailing attitude. Like so many other self centered trends that are popping up – “if it isn’t about me, then why bother?”
Did you ever stop to think that it may be about more than you?
I recently attended my high school class reunion (I won’t date myself by revealing the year) but let’s just say that we are long past the stage of trying to impress and have settled into a comfortable and genuine respect for each other. I looked forward to seeing my old gang again, and share memories of the good times that we had. But I also was looking forward to seeing some of my classmates that I really didn’t know that well and didn’t really hang out with in high school, and maybe get the chance to get to know them now, as adults, and shed some of the preconceived notions that we all make about others.
I learned a lot about my classmates at my reunion:
I learned that the “quiet girl” skipped gym class everyday and still got an A in gym. She also managed to not sign up for study hall, and no one in the school office noticed that she was unaccounted for during that time every day. I guess it pays to be quiet.
I learned that the “party guy” actually developed a drinking problem, recognized that he had a problem, was able to quit drinking, get through law school, become a successful lawyer, and stay sober for all these years. Oh yeah, and he actually got a book of his poems published – who knew he could write poetry?
I learned that the “pretty girl” who got married right out of high school, ended up in divorce a few years later, and has been too embarrassed to come to any of the reunions. What a shame.
I learned that the “star athlete” is actually a really humble guy who just wants to be a good dad.
I learned of the “popular girl” who’s husband suffered through the crippling and terminal effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease. She raised three children on her own and finally started dating again. He seemed very nice.
I learned that the “skater dude” had the courage to move his family to Spain for two years because it was a great way to introduce his kids to another culture. They immersed themselves into the fabric of the community, attending the local schools, and quickly picked up the language and the customs, while growing both intellectually and spiritually.
I learned of the “brainy nerd” who became a doctor (no real surprise), and is also conducting research on a cure for cancer. Wouldn’t that be cool if he found one?
I learned that the “band/choir geek” never really lived up to his musical potential, but has recently found a new creative outlet with his writing. “Glee” was a few decades too late.
I learned of the classmate who has a soccer playing son the same age as my soccer playing son – maybe we’ll meet each other on the field at a regional soccer tournament some day.
I learned of classmates who have lost a parent like I did. And the classmate who’s father was just diagnosed with Leukemia like my dad was.
See – it’s not “all about me”.
I learned this and so much more by stepping out of my comfort zone, and showing a real interest in the lives of the classmates I may not have spent much time with in high school. They all have the same joys, sorrows, achievements, and heart aches that I do.
And I wish I had gotten the know that “quiet girl” more back in the day – she sure had a lot more great stories to tell.
Picking is in. The recent success of shows like “American Pickers”, “Antiques Road Show” and “Storage Wars” indicates a renewed interest in found treasures. Wouldn’t we love to come across a trinket in Grandma’s attic and find out that it’s worth thousands of dollars? Well the reality is that these treasures are valuable because they are rare, and the fact that they are so rare makes it highly unlikely that any of us will find anything that is priceless. But don’t give up on picking already – there are many wonderful and useful items that can be found in your local thrift store or resale shop that can bring style and character to your home décor. And it is the ultimate in green living – reuse instead of buying new.
Start with plates, bowls, and serving platters. There is nothing more boring than a complete matching set of china. Mix things up and create an interesting table setting with antique salad plates or a unique serving bowl. Small depression glass desert bowls will complete your dinner with pizzazz. Many of these great serving pieces can be picked up for a couple dollars. You may have to do a little digging, and check the pieces for chips or cracks, but sometimes a little chip just proves that it was well loved by someone else.
A good way to create a memorable evening is to serve your favorite cocktails and beverages in retro vintage glasses. The styles will remind your guests of times spent with their parents or grandparents. A bonus would be a vintage martini shaker, or better yet, a retro ice bucket. These small touches go a long way to make your evening special. They will also help break the ice (no pun intended) and create conversations as your guests reminisce.
Now your picking shouldn’t be limited to the dining room. You can find many great home accents for everyday use. Interesting candle holders, vases, lamps, and even framed pictures can be found at ridiculously low prices. Use your imagination. Repurpose. Make a lamp out of an old surveyor’s tripod. Use an old factory cart for a coffee table. An old wash stand as a wet bar. Make a coat rack out of vintage door knobs. The possibilities are endless.
The key to picking is patience and frequency. You will not find a car full of treasures in one trip. There is a lot of “rough” to go through to find that “diamond”. I find that the time I spend picking seems to relax me a little bit and if I come away with something special, so much the better. And I’ll give you a picker’s secret – stores like Goodwill put their donations out on the sales floor within 24hrs of receiving the items. Most people drop off their donations on Saturday, so stop by on Sunday afternoon for a good selection.
Our memories have a powerful hold over our emotions. And all picked items have a history. We brought a simple plate of cheese & crackers over to a friend’s house served on a vintage platter. The hostess had a tear in her eye when she realized that the pattern on the plate was the same one that her mother used to have. The wonderful memories of her deceased mother washed over her, and we made a very special connection with her that evening.
So get out there and see what you can find. Many thrift stores also support local charities. Not only will you find a treasure, you will be helping others, and you will keep another item out of a landfill. It’s a win, win, win proposition.
I’m not sure when it began, but it has been going on for a while now. For some reason, the design style of choice has been “old world”. Everyone seems to want the Tuscan villa, or the European castle, or the English country house when they are designing their homes. When did this yearning for the old country begin? Why are we all so fascinated with this faux sense of history? If the old country was so great, why did our great-great grand parents immigrate to America in the first place?
It seems that ever since the pilgrims came over on the Mayflower, we have been reluctant to let go of our past. Maybe it’s because we settled in a country that really had no history, unless you were a Native American. The early settlers brought with them the culture, traditions, and architecture of their home land. That was fine back then, but it has been well over 200 years since we declared our independence, and I think it is time we cut the cord on European design and embrace American Style.
Now what is American Style? It is as diverse as this great nation of ours. Think of it as anything that originated in America, born out of true American spirit and inventiveness. House styles range from the Prairie style, to the sprawling ranch, to the Chicago bungalow. Even the classic brick farmhouse, built out of hard work and sweat, is the hallmark of American Style that will last generations. The tri-level is American practicality at its best. And the mid-century modern house with its soaring vaulted ceilings and wide open spaces reminds us of the wide open spaces of our country.
American Style is all about authentic materials; hand crafted, with a purposeful, original design. Ideally, the materials should be sourced locally, or at least in America. The aesthetic can range from modern to classic and everywhere in between. The style is a little less fussy and cluttered. Our own sense of history is important and should be reflected in our heirlooms, edited down and tastefully displayed. A mix of old and new beckons friends and family to stay a while. Create a relaxed attitude that welcomes all with sincerity and warmth.
So rethink that faux plastered Tuscan decor, those overwrought heavy European accents, and forget about that turret. Look to America for your design inspiration and create your own American Style.
Every season the design publications and home design shows make a big deal out of announcing the latest trends. The general public eagerly awaits this sage advice as to what the upcoming colors, silhouettes, and styles will be. Since these are the design professionals, then these trends must be the latest “haves” for the conspicuous consumer. We need to keep one step ahead of the Jones’s don’t we?
Here’s the TRUTH about all these big trend announcements – they really don’t matter, especially when it comes to your home’s décor. Do you really care that the latest trend color is honeysuckle pink? Not if you are a person who hates pink. As far as I’m concerned, the only trends that you need to worry about are the ones that make you happy. The reality is that most of us don’t live in a showcase house. The general public is not going to be touring through your home passing judgment on your décor. And I doubt that you’ll be featured in a home design magazine article, I mean really – who are those people and how long does a professional home stylist work to get these homes in such perfect condition – because real people don’t live like that.
The only one that you have to please is yourself (and maybe your spouse).
The trouble with jumping on a trend bandwagon is that next season a new trend will be announced. That’s how they get all of us to keep buying stuff. The homes that look truly outdated are the ones who fell victim to a particular trend, jumped in with both feet, and took it too far. Before they could say avocado, the trend had moved on to another color palette, and they were stuck with a green refrigerator. (And there’s nothing wrong with that if you love green!)
So don’t worry if something may be out of fashion. If you love it and it makes you happy, then it will always be in style in your home. Surround yourself with the treasures that you have collected over the years. Each one will hold a special meaning or spark a happy memory. And the people that you welcome into your home will get a glimpse at who you really are.
The other night I was watching a show on HGTV (yes, I watch those too). The designer’s task was to give the kitchen a much needed makeover. As the designer started, practical matters were addressed, such as storage space, prep space, and family dining space. So far, so good, I thought. And then the design was revealed. The space was to be turned into an ultra modern, super sleek, stainless steel and white kitchen. That may sound good, except for the fact that the homeowners had an ultra conservative, very traditional, colonial home. The newly designed kitchen just did not fit into that house (and she is a well known designer – what was she thinking?)
I see that a lot. Many homeowners have a certain design style in mind, and will force it into a house where it doesn’t belong. How many black granite countertops were installed in houses where they didn’t belong, just because it happened to be the popular choice at that moment? How many 70’s split levels were forced to give up their cool vibe to accommodate traditional over-stuffed furniture? How many turn-of-the-century homes had their history erased with a poorly conceived kitchen remodel?
I say, embrace the style of your house. Go outside and stand on the sidewalk, face your house, and take it all in. Is it a traditional Georgian? A mid-century ranch? A bungalow? Your house will give you clues to your design style. Now step inside. Look at the details that are built in. What does the trim look like? Is it heavily adorned or clean and simple? What do the banisters and railings look like? How about the fireplace brick and mantle? Look at the style of the doors. These were all put in place when the house was built, and if the builder had good sense, should reflect the style of that house.
So if you’ve got that split-level – embrace it with a cool, clean, soft modern design. Keep the flavor of your 1920’s bungalow with a retro inspired vintage chic aesthetic. Pay homage to the history of your Victorian with warm colors and tufted furniture. Listen to your house, and it will lead the way.
